Oh great, it’s STILL Friday in Genoa City because we’ve been thrown back to Sharon’s den of lies where detective Nick is really drilling down on his interrogation. As you will recall Nick is piggybacking off of Paul’s reveal that phone records placed JT’s cell phone (and likely JT himself) at Victoria’s the night he disappeared. Add to that Mariah’s memory recall of hearing a man’s voice while she lay in a drunken stupor in Victoria’s living room and voila! We have ourselves an open and shut case of collusion and conspiracy according to Nick. He demands to know what Sharon isn’t telling him and when she doesn’t budge he whips out his cell to call Victoria to pester her about what she also isn’t telling him.
Ahh… the pitfalls of being a man of means with oodles of free time.
Sharon lunges for the phone and stops him just in the nick of time from sending his sister down another rabbit hole of doom and gloom. Nick is surprised. He demands to know what has Sharon so spooked. Proving to be the skilled liar that she’s always been, Sharon answers his questions with a question: “Why would I lie when JT abused your sister and almost killed your father?†Why indeed you blonde deceiver. Nick doesn’t take the bait and hits her with: “Maybe there’s a part of the story you’re not telling me.†Ha! Your move, Sharon.
Not wanting to lose momentum Nick begins to sew seeds of speculation as to why Sharon could be lying to him. Some of these seeds include:
- JT showed up to beg Victoria for another chance because that’s what abusers do to suck their victims back in.
- Victoria knows where JT is, but is keeping quiet about it.
- Sharon, Phyllis and Nikki all know Victoria is hiding a fugitive, but is keeping it from the police.
- JT was a fine respectable citizen until aliens abducted him and turned him into a abusive murderer.
Obviously that last one was my theory, but not really far fetched ammiright?
Doing her absolute best to keep from falling apart at the seams Sharon asks Nick why would she lie about seeing JT that night. Nick looks incredulous. ‘It’s because you lie as easily as you breathe Sharon and you’ve been that way since the day I laid eyes on you’ he practically tells her. Sharon is butthurt by this brutal honesty, but I’m positively tickled.
Nick then proceeds to list decades worth of Sharon’s trickery and says it all stems from her inability to trust him completely. Egotistical much?
“Naturally a tit for tat ensues when the sordid history of Nick’s wayward penis is brought up”.
Sharon says the difference between herself and Nick is she doesn’t judge the mistakes his penis has made in the past, opting instead to accept him for who he is in the present—an out-of-work father who dresses like a lumberjack and one who passes down judgement on anyone who doesn’t live their life by his rules.
Sharon therefore asks why Nick can’t offer the same courtesy and I feel the need to remind her that he’s always been a sanctimonious ass and there’s no use expecting that to change now.
If you think the fight ends there you’d be wrong. Nick says he’s just trying to protect her and that’s when Sharon loses her shit. “No one needs rescuing. Stop harassing Victoria and stop making me the bad guy!†she yells at him before storming off in a very convincing manner.
Later though, after cooling off, Sharon slinks back into the living room to apologize for her outburst. Knowing full well Nick is not about to let go about his hunch Sharon does the only thing she knows will disarm Nick: she tells him that she’s burning with desire for him and just like that, Nick swallows her face forgetting about Victoria and JT, at least for the time being.
Over at God Have Mercy Hospital… Hell on Wheels, or Hilary as some of you prefer to call her is trying to get her hapless ex to leave and give her some privacy to deceive him yet again. Devon tells Hillary that being a father is the biggest thing that’s ever happened to him which throws me off a bit. I would’ve thought going deaf from meningitis and regaining his hearing would rank a bit higher. But okay, let’s go with siring Hilary’s spawn. Sure. Devon declares his intention to “do right’†by Hilary which causes her conscience to spring a leak. Before she can come clean about the true nature of her doctor’s appointment, however, the doctor emerges and announces she’s ready to begin the insemination procedure. It’s as if all the air is sucked out of the room when Devon turns to Hilary and asks why does she needs more sperm—is someone’s being a little greedy?
Hilary slaps Devon across the face with her story of intending to impregnate herself with his sperm without his knowledge. Devon responds by rubbing his head in exasperation as if this is the first time he’s had to deal with Hilary’s treachery.
Panicked that her last chance to sink her fangs into Devon may be slipping away from her Hilary sits Devon down for a little story time. ‘You see Devon, the reason I kept up this elaborate lie of being pregnant was really your fault. I came to tell you the day I found out, but you were with that irritating girlfriend of yours and you refuse to dismiss her like a dog so I could talk privately with you.’ Hilary basically says before also laying blame at the feet of her viewers who dared to show kindness by sending numerous baby gifts to her studio. She had fully intended to confess on air but those pesky gifts got her all in her feels. Guess who sits cooperatively lapping up her lies like a cat with a saucer of milk the whole time? If you guessed Devon, please advance to Go! and collect your $200.
To seal the deal Hilary admits to Devon that believing she was pregnant for those four days gave her such immeasurable joy that she couldn’t face the reality when she found out she wasn’t actually pregnant. Our midwestern Maleficent is nothing if not a skilled puppeteer of Devon’s empathy because instead of running for the hills he tells her to go ahead with the insemination. Hilary wants to know if he’s sure and Devon says, ‘yup, I suffer from short term memory loss and have completely forgotten all the times you made my life a living hell. You’ll be a great mom to my child someday!’
Meanwhile…across town at the Newman ranch… we are thankful to see that no one is being murdered there at the moment. It’s just that slick weasel Kyle sniveling and whining at Victor’s feet and pleading his case for a corner office at Newman. As proof of his dedication and continued double crossing, Kyle delivers the memory card that shows the video of Dina admitting to Jack’s true paternity.
“Kyle can’t resist a self-satisfied smirk from spreading across his face; he can almost feel his big toe crossing over the threshold into Newman upper management.”
That smirk vanishes, however, when Victor states he needs something more than just the ramblings from the eroded mind of an Alzheimers patient. He tells Kyle that he must have irrefutable proof that Jack isn’t John’s biological son.
Not to be deterred, Kyle quickly counters with the story about the time Ashely almost blurted it out at the last Jabot board meeting; how incriminating it was that she and Abby threw the memory card in the fire in an obvious attempt to conceal its contents, and of course there’s the matter of that blood Abbott clause.
Victor pretends to listen before shooing his minion back to the drawing board. Kyle starts to cry about putting his family legacy at risk and not getting his just due in return. Victor’s throws him a bone: ‘I’m impressed. I see you in a slightly less annoying light,’ he tells his protégé. It’s not the the recognition he wanted but Kyle realizes he has to conceded this
At the Abbott manse… where sadly the true blood Abbotts are dropping like flies, Abby and Aunt Jack are eagerly going over the minutiae of Dina’s movie screening later that night. Aunt Jack is sparing no expense, happily renting out a movie theater, ordering a red carpet and stretch limo all in an effort to ensure that Dina’s movie feels like a Hollywood premiere.
Abby tells Auntie that Charlie is on his way to screen the final version of the film. Oh my goodness he even took extra time to perfect the titles! My mind wanders to what they’ve named Dina’s movie, “A Few Good Country Club Men†perhaps? Auntie acknowledges that this labor of love isn’t lost on him. He gushes about Abby putting in the work, researching and doing all the tedious interviews. Then Auntie says he’s sure he’ll learn some things even he didn’t know about his mother and you can see the gears shifting inside Abby’s near empty head. She assures Jack she made sure there was nothing in the film that would cause embarrassment to Dina or the the family. Ha! You’ve just heard some famous last words, folks. Relish them.
Talk turns to fashion dandy Kyle when Aunt Jack expresses how great it would be if his son condescended to attend the night’s festivities. Abby lets him know that Kyle took Dina out a few days ago and that he’s “very good†with her. Jack beams. So trusting. It will be his downfall.
A little later it appears Charlie’s future as a movie director is cemented when his Dina edit brings everyone in the room to tears. All except Kyle, who is perched awkwardly on the arm of the ancient Abbott couch looking like he just stepped into something nasty with his shoe and can’t wait go scrape it off somewhere.
After Charlie leaves Jack thanks Kyle for airing Dina out the other day at the Athletic Club. ‘Making an effort to get to know Dina, you know, it means a lot’, Auntie snivels. Kyle pretends to agree giving his father a dead smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.
