GENOA CITY, W.I.—After stewing in an agitated state for over a week, disgruntled father, Neil Winters was forced to admit to his close family members Wednesday that he wasn’t going to allow a little thing like his mother’s failing health stop him from breaking his decade-long plan of pretending she didn’t exist.
Winters further insisted that neither his mother’s poor health, isolation nor groveling for forgiveness as she lie wasting away in a nearby assisted living facility warranted any revision of his original plan. “Why don’t you take her some flowers, show her the photo albums and listen to all of her excuses” said an utterly disgusted Winters, thus confirming his daughter’s suspicion that he was still licking the open wound of being abandoned by his mother years ago.
Springing into action, Ashby conferred with her concerned family members and mobilized a rescue effort for her father’s sense of human decency. A decision to search and badger was quickly decided upon and Winters’ son Devon Hamilton was ordered to unleash an unyielding barrage of sage advice, imploring looks and what-if scenarios.
“If you ask me, my grandmother’s attempt to contact my father is her way of saying she’s sorry for leaving him,” Ashby speculated to reporters before admitting that her master plan of invading her father’s privacy by reading the unopened letters her grandmother had sent to him and using it as a tool of emotional manipulation may have failed miserably but that it was too early to tell for sure.
According to witnesses, Winters eventually succumbed to the hankering and agreed to visit the wretched old woman he once held in childhood endearment. At press time his family awaits word on whether or not their irksome meddling has indeed paid off.
