The longer Jack hung around Summer Phyllis’ apartment I just knew the chances were growing greater that Billy goat was going to end up dropping in to see her. Well, call me a fortuneteller, because that’s EXACTLY what happened. Thank heavens Phyllis had the good sense to tell Jack not to answer the door. Billy was standing on the other side of it. All 6 feet 3 inches of him. So yum!
Jack finally takes leave, having failed to entice Phyllis to enter into another soul crushing tournament with him battling Victor and failing spectacularly at it. “Uhh, no thanks, Jack Ass”, she pretty much tells him. “Good luck on your exercise in futility!” After the coast is clear, the goat returns.
Now, on to the good stuff: Phyllis orders Chinese takeout which happens to go really well with beer and heart-to-heart conversation, and it also sets the tone for the goat to get adorable:
“I have to admit. I couldn’t have predicted it—how the day would go when I rang your bell. Well, so to speak. In fact I couldn’t have predicted about anything…today.”
Just to be sure he’s there because he wants to be and not because Victoria slammed the door on his feelings, Phyllis wisely keeps pressing him to examine his status with the Snow Queen. When Billy tells her he came to her house because he wants to be with her, I felt my tiny, black heart start to tingle in my ribcage. This feeling of giving a rat’s ass is foreign to me. I like these two boneheads.
Oh, and this part where she loosens the metaphorical noose that Victoria put around the goat’s neck with her “impossible standards” is F*CKING HAWT! Recall when he confessed to Phyllis earlier that he could breathe with her? Well, there you go. Let those lungs soak in the good air…ahhh feels good.
Meanwhile, in the city so nice they named it twice, Ashley and Ravi are still locked in a lukewarm embrace, exchanging a kiss that is tepid at best. Totally not as hot as the one she shared with Stitch a year and a half ago.
Mhhhmm…get ALL the hard-to-reach areas, baby.
Come to think of it. I haven’t seen Stitch since he green-lit Devon to poke Hilary again. That was months ago. Where is he?
Well, this kiss seems to give Ashely pause because despite her blathering about getting to bed early Ravi finds her some time later in the hotel restaurant pensively drinking wine. When he offers to give her space she invites him to sit and have heart palpitations from being in her presence. How kind!
Oh shit! Guess who comes wondering by again? It’s Ass Hat Hochman. He’s on a mission to grate on every one of Ashely’s last nerves, and since she’s heading back to Genoa City tomorrow now is as good a time as any! Ass Hat tells Ashley that his colossal ego won’t allow him to figure out why she opted to go out to the opera with their “young friend” instead of enduring another dinner with him and his cell phone. To which Ashley’s response is…
Too bad Hochman doesn’t get her message so Ravi proceeds to chop him down a peg or two. Suddenly Ashley feels a little moist so she excuses herself to retreat to her hotel room, but not before telling Ravi that she liked the way he stood up for her.
On a visit to see Paul, Chelsea is told that Chloe may as well have evaporated into thin air because there is zero trace of her anywhere. Which really should’t come as a surprise. When was the last time Paul actually solved a case? Chelsea becomes irate and gives Paul an earful because she lacked good sense and judgement where her BFF was concerned. Chloe may have lit the fuse but Chelsea helped to kill Adam. Her charge? Gullibility. I can’t believe this woman was once a scammer. Shouldn’t con artists have instincts and cunning to be able to do their job well? Chelsea isn’t any of those things.
Then Chelsea goes to the Underground to whine some more about how blind she was about Chloe, and the only person who gives a shit is Jack, who has already begun to gather precious intel for his ill-conceived plot to take down Victor again. I’m bored by this so I walk away briefly to go scream at my houseplants.
When I return I see Scott sitting in his car looking at his watch nervously when all of a sudden a bug lands on his windshield before flying in through the open passenger window. Christine? WTF?
Scott tells the Bug she’s late and she apologizes about not being able to see him since his release from captivity. I have to admit that my mind was blown when she called Scott her nephew. Had to go back into the history books for that one. Apparently Scotty Grainger (Scott’s dad) and the Bug were half-siblings.
Fun-Fact: legend has it that the Bug fell in love with Scott before discovering they were brother and sister. Ew!
So remember that big case Bug mentioned to Paul? Turns out Scott’s been working as a mole for the government this whole time. Bug called Scott to tell him her cronies want him to go back undercover. Scott’s not having it and reminds her the people who were supposed to protect him weren’t there when he was captured. Bug claims there was an exit plan. Hahaha…yeah, Dylan thought there was an exit plan too and we all now how that turned out. Don’t believe her, Scott, she’s full of shit.
