LOS ANGELES–Admitting his growing fears that the relationship with the woman he had come to cherish more than life itself was under attack, scruffy tree hugger Liam Spencer reportedly bemoaned to his father Tuesday that though he felt his union was on solid ground he didn’t know if he had what it took to grow a sack and stop annoying his girlfriend with his constant whining and conspiracy theories. “I just want to spend most of my time acting outraged, sighing heavily and irritating the hell out of Steffy with my doom and gloom predictions about how Quinn is out to get us,” said the extremely skittish man who then proceeded to fall back dramatically in his living room armchair and roll his eyes to the heavens as if to plead for the intervention of a divine entity.
According to sources close to the severely paranoid man, Spencer is convinced that Quinn Forrester—a well documented adversary and assailant–is using dark forces to control the mind of her husband, Eric Forrester. “Eric has always supported me and now, all of a sudden he’s aligning his beliefs with the woman he’s married to; supporting her and wanting the same things she wants. Whoever heard of such a thing? That’s not how marriages are supposed to be!” Spencer allegedly cried to his father as they sipped hot toddy from Santa Claus mugs near a heavily decorated Christmas tree.
Spencer went on to reiterate how dangerous Quinn Forrester really is and that her ability to inspire love and protection from her husband was the proof that she wasn’t to be trusted.
