YR, Issue 3
Oh boy, here we are again, back at the Newman Wing of the Genoa City Memorial Hospital to find Nick and ex-inmate Phyllis huddled together in front of the door to Victoria’s room. “I hate going in there and seeing her like that,” Nick says. “Why can’t she just wake up? This is sooo inconvenient.” “Tell me about it,” Phyllis commiserates. “I could think of a few things I’d rather be doing with you at home than hanging around here, if you know what I mean.” “I do,” Nick replies, eyeing her lustily. “Close your eyes for a moment,” Phyllis says. “Picture this: It’s next Thanksgiving. The whole Newman family is sitting around the table and Victoria is there with her son…” “Are you naked?” Nick interrupts. “What?! No. We’re at the dinner table, remember? Anyway, you’re getting me off track. Where was I? Right. It’s next Thanksgiving and we’re all at the dinner table and Victoria…” “This is stupid. Do you know why?” Nick asks but does not wait for her reply. “Because even if Vic and the baby come out of this okay, by this time next year there’ll be another crisis to deal with. It’s the Newman way.” “Hmm, you’ve got a point there,” Phyllis shrugs and smiles. “Well, it was worth a shot. Let’s go see her.” They enter the room and Nick says, “Yep. Still flat on her back.” He goes closer to the bed, “Hope you’re happy, Racket. Mom and Dad are ready to go nuclear on each other and all you can do is lay there. You always were a troublemaker.” Walking up behind him Phyllis gushes, “Hey, remind me to buy a few silk pillow cases on our way home; Victoria’s hair looks amazing!”
Over at 7600 Melrose Ave, Jack and Sharon are together in the conference room of Newman Enterprises. Jack’s bent over his laptop and Sharon is shuffling papers in and out of folders pretending to look very busy and important. “Would you look at what they’re saying about me on the blogs,” Jack fumes, “One blogger writes, ‘When was the last time senator Abbott darkened the doorway of his official office in Madison?’ What does it matter where I work, as long as I get the job done?” “Jack, don’t read them. It’s not good for morale,” Sharon offers. “Listen to this one: ‘Why is it that the senator never wears casual clothes? We always see him in suits. There’s something very weird about a guy who doesn’t own a pair of jeans.” “Are you going to spend all day reading bad press or are you going to take your wife out to lunch?” Jack frowns and closes the laptop reluctantly. “Ok, ok. What did you have in mind?” “Surprise me,” Sharon says while leaning in for a kiss.
At the Athletic Club Lily walks in and spots BFF Colleen. “Hey, how was your date with Cane?” she asks. “You mean dinner?” Lily corrects. “Awful. Cane spent the entire time talking about sports with Jack and my brother. We barely spoke two words to each other. I wish I knew how he felt about me.” “He’s sitting over there having coffee. Why don’t you go over and ask him?” Lily objects, saying she couldn’t possibly but Colleen has an idea. “Remember when we were in grade school and if we liked a boy but we didn’t know if he liked us back, we’d pass him a piece of paper in class to ask him how he felt? Well why not try that? Draw two boxes with a question above that reads, ‘Do you like me?’. Then beside the first box write, ‘Yes’ and then, ‘No’ beside the second box. I’ll take the note over with his bill and you wait here for the revelation. What do you think?” Understandably, Lily is doubtful, “I don’t know, Col, it could come off looking a bit childish.” “Will you stop worrying about your age?! He’s crazy about you. Anyone with eyes can see that.” “This is so stupid. What is wrong with me? Here I am, thinking about the guy 24/7 and I bet he doesn’t even care. What I need is to get a life.” “What’s this about getting a life?” Cane asks after wandering over to the two girls unnoticed.
Muttering something about tending to her customers, Colleen conveniently slips away leaving Cane and Lily to beat around the bush about their true feelings for each other.
“I want to thank you again for inviting me over for Thanksgiving. I had a great time,” Cane says. “No problem. I couldn’t have you spend your first official Thanksgiving alone, now could I?” Lily says nervously. There is a lull in the conversation and finally Lily summons the courage to ask Cane how he feels about her. “Listen, there’s something I been wanting to ask you.” “What is it?” “Well, it’s about you and…” Just then Heather materializes out of thin air. “Hi, Cane.” What time will you be picking me up?” “I’m sorry?” Cane seems a bit confused. “The charity event. Tomorrow night?” “Oh, right. Yeah, I dunno. How does 8:00 sound?” “Perfect. See you then.” Heather disappears, leaving Cane and Lily to stare awkwardly at each other.
Jill enters the Jabot boardroom (or better yet, the boredroom) to find Kevin and his mother working feverishly. “I have this fabulous idea for a new marketing campaign that would be great for the younger market.” “Don’t we already have Glow by Jabot?” Gloria asks. “Oh, that was years ago—we need something fresh. That’s it!” “What is it?” Gloria perks up, her bug-like eyes coming to life. “The name of the campaign: The Fresh Face of Jabot. It will represent women of all ages, shapes and sizes. The focus will not just be outer beauty but inner beauty as well.” “I like it,” Gloria nods, then offers, “We should have people nominate the contestants by writing in why they think the woman is beautiful and then we award the winner a makeover and a photo shoot and make them the face of the campaign.” “That’s brilliant!” Jill says excitedly, grabbing hold of Gloria’s hands as the two jump up and down. “Whatever you two had for lunch, I want some.” Kevin observes. “Then make a reservation at the Athletic Club. Gloria and I ordered two plates of crazy when we had our brainstorming session there earlier, it was spectacular.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever had that,” Kevin muses. “It’s new.” Gloria answers while reaching in her bag as her cellphone rings. “Gloria Abbott. Jeffrey! What a surprise. Dinner? I’d love to. Where? On second thought, don’t tell me, surprise me instead. Uh huh, it’s a date. Pick me up at the office at around 9:15. Buh-bye.” By this time Jill has scurried off and Kevin says, “What’s it going to take for you to stay away from that guy? He’s trouble, Mom.” “I need to find out what he knows about me and that tainted face cream.” “Will you keep your voice down?” Kevin hisses. “Alright, Kevin, don’t get worked up. Believe me, I know what I’m doing, okay? You don’t have to remind me.” Gloria picks out a compact out of her pocketbook, flips it open and fusses with her hair. “You’re like a moth to a flame, Mom, I swear.” “Look who’s talking! I need romantic advice from you like I need a hole in my head. At least Jeffery hasn’t tried to burn me alive.” “Mom, how many times do I have to tell you that it was the tumor that…” “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Suddenly, I have to go take care of something. See you later.”
Team Nikki and Team Victor are all gathered outside the courtroom to deliberate on whether Victoria should live or die. Victor is telling Michael that he will not lose control over his daughter’s life. “I made her. Do you understand me? I brought her into this world, if there’s anyone to take her out of it, it should be me.” “Yes, Victor,” Michael tries to placate, “I understand that but after Brad read that letter… I just don’t see how the judge can NOT take your daughter’s words under consideration.”
“If that two-faced, contemptuous weasel is appointed my daughter’s guardian, I’ll bury him. No way in hell is this going to happen.” Victor is irate and casts a searing glare over at Team Nikki, which consists of his soon-to-be ex-wife and Brad, the “weasel” in question.
“Victor is so unreasonable. Doesn’t he see this is what Victoria would want?” Nikki says to a smug Brad. “You of all people should know that the words “Victor” and “reasonable” do not belong in the same sentence.” He says to her. Just then, he reaches out and holds the nearby wall for support. “What’s wrong? Are you ill?” Nikki wants to know. “It’s-it’s my thighs, they’re-they’re tingling. They only do that when there’s danger at hand.” Nikki looks down at Brad’s thighs quizzically. “It’s Victoria. I think she’s getting worse.” He surmises. “How could you possible know that? Nicholas hasn’t even called.” As if on cue, Nikki’s cell phone rings and she sees Nicholas’ name on the caller ID. When she answers she learns what Brad has predicted: Victoria is critical and must undergo surgery immediately. Suddenly everyone forgets the infighting and make a mad dash for the courthouse parking lot. All, that is, except for Victor who takes the elevator up to the building’s rooftop where his gilded helicopter is waiting.
Later in the day, Cane decides he need more caffeine flowing through his veins and makes an emergency stop at Crimson Lights. Upon entering he spots Lily—naturally—sitting alone at a table on the back patio.
He walks over. “We need to stop meeting like this.” Lily looks up sheepishly and smiles. “I know but I don’t have anywhere else to go. It’s either here or the Athletic Club.” Cane smiles at her knowingly and says, “Since I’m here, mind telling me what was on your mind earlier?” “What?” Lily asks. “When we were at the Athletic Club, you said there was something you wanted to ask me.” “Oh. That. Forget it. It’s not important.” “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?” Deciding to give it one more try, Lily begins, “Well, what I wanted to ask you was…” “Yeah?” “Well, I kinda wanted to know how you feel about…” Again, quite without warning, there is a puff of smoke and we see Heather grinning maniacally. “Hey guys. So, Cane, about the fundraiser. Did I ask you to pick me up at 8:00 or 9:00? I can’t remember.” “8:00. I’m sure you said 8:00.” Cane replies. “Great. Just checking.” Okay, catch you later.” Just as suddenly as she came, Heather quickly disappears. “Sorry about that. Now, what were you saying?” Cane asks Lily. “Something about how I feel?” “Ah, yeah. How do you feel about me trying out for the Fresh Face campaign?”
Jeff and Gloria walk into the Athletic Club dining room. Jeff is covering Gloria’s eyes. “Ok, here we are. Ready?” he asks. “Surprise!” Gloria blinks and looks around the club. “Oh, we’re at the Athletic Club,” she sighs, her voice punctured with disappointment. “Yes, of course. Were you expecting somewhere else?” “No. Never mind. It’s perfect. Let’s eat, I’m famished.”
Seated in the back of the club, is Sharon and Jack having dinner. When we last left them, they were having lunch, which was obviously so tantalizing they decided to remain there for their last meal of the day. But where is little Noah Newman? Shouldn’t he be eating dinner with his family? Just then, Sharon’s phone rings, “Oh, hey, Lisa. I’m at the Athletic Club having dinner. How’s Noah? Having fun with Sam I bet. What do you mean Sam’s supposed to be with us tonight? I thought you… hold on, Lisa, my other line is ringing. Hello? Mrs. Martinez, what can I do for you? Oh, Noah is there with you? The school called you to pick him up because they couldn’t reach me? Yes, Mr. Abbott and I have been over eating at the Athletic Club since noon. Ok, thanks so much. I’ll let Sam’s mother know you have him. Bye.” Sharon switches over and puts Sam’s mother at ease; her son is in the very capable hands of the hired help. “You know, Jack, it was a stroke of genius to put Mrs. Martinez as an emergency contact at Noah’s school. Obviously pleased, Jack smiles, “I have been known to have a good idea from time to time.” “God, Gina’s pasta is amazing tonight. I’m almost tempted to stick around for breakfast.” Sharon enthuses, stuffing a forkful of ravioli into her mouth.
Meanwhile, back at Crimson Lights, Jill stops in to buy a latte. “Hi, Jill.” Amber greets from behind the counter. “I heard about your Fresh Face marketing campaign. Wouldn’t it be cool if I enter and then I can design some of the outfits and sing some of my lame songs?” Jill eyes her narrowly and tries, unsuccessfully, to hide the disgust in her voice. “This contest is not just about outer beauty, Amber. You have to be beautiful on the inside too.” “But I saved your life.” Amber whimpers. “Luckily, ‘Saving the life of a Jabot executive’ is not a requirement to enter the contest.” Tossing a $20 dollar bill on the counter, Jill grabs her latte and leaves. Amber watches her exit, “You haven’t seen the last of me, Jill Abbot. I’ll slither my way back into the Chancellor family, one way or another.”
With lightning speed and precision we find our way back to the Jabot boredroom, where Jill is sipping demurely on her $20 cup of latte. Kevin walks in. “I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news, Jill,” he says. “What is it?” she asks, not looking up from her file of papers. “The Fresh Face of Jabot campaign? It’s exactly like, the Dove® Campaign for Real Beauty contest. They select real women of all shape, sizes and ages to feature in the ads for their products. The goal is to inspire women to have the self-confidence to believe in their inner beauty and not the stick-thin models they see every day in print and electronic media.”
“I could have sworn I had an original idea,” Jill says. “Apparently not. So, what do you want to do?” Kevin questions. “I say we run with it.” “Are you sure? Won’t that be a copyright infringement issue or something?” “Oh, please. This is Jabot Cosmetics, for crying out loud! Dove® can’t compete with us. Launch the site. Forthwith.” “Looks like you went back to the GCAC and had a big plate of crazy for dinner too. Alright. I don’t think it’s a good idea but you’re the boss.” “That’s right. I am the boss. Let me know when everything is set up.”
Damn! We’re at the hospital again. Victoria has just been wheeled out of surgery and baby Newman (or is it Carlton? Maybe Hellstrom?) is sleeping soundly in the 50/50 Chance incubator. Both Brad and J.T. are looking at him from outside. “He’s so small.” J.T. croaks. “Good thing you guys got here when you did. We almost lost Victoria. Nikki told me you got a feeling in your thighs, right before Nick called?” “Yeah. It’s the darnedest thing. Ever since I crushed those Nazis between my legs like a nutcracker does a walnut I get this sensation in my thighs. It’s like I know something bad is going to happen. I guess you could call it a thigh sense, you know, instead of sixth sense?” “Yeah. I guess.” J.T. turns away to take another look at the baby, all the while praying inwardly that Victoria’s baby does not turn out to be Brad’s.
In the Newmans Only waiting room, Dr. Webb is delivering the horrible news that even though the baby has been delivered there is no change in Victoria’s condition. “You mean she could still die?” Nikki sobs, clamping her hand over her mouth in agony. “Wait a minute. I don’t understand this. You said that if the baby was delivered. Victoria would get better.” Victor says. “We’ll continue to monitor her closely over the next 48 hours.” Dr. Webb replies. “Some expert you turned out to be,” Victor mumbles. “I’m sorry Mr. Newman. We’re really doing all we can. If you’ll excuse me I have other patients I have to see.” “What?! But I flew you out here to deal with my daughter. How can you be seeing other patients on my watch?’’ But Dr. Webb moves fast and has already made a hasty retreat around the corner. The camera takes a snapshot of everyone’s expression before fading to black. Victor is grim; Nikki is sobbing uncontrollably; Phyllis looks sad. And Nicholas? You guessed it—annoyed.
BEHIND THE BARREL:
Bored Stiff:
Just so you know, the word “Boredroom” isn’t a typo but, rather subtle commentary on the whole scene with Gloria and Kevin slacking off from their work to email the senate committee about Jack’s misdeeds. What’s Gloria still doing running the rat race anyway? Isn’t she a millionaire fifty times over? Katherine and Jill ought to keep a closer eye on her to see if they’re really getting their money’s worth. She even has her own office. What for, I’ll never know but I can bet it’s the reason Jabot is always on the verge of filing for Chapter 11.
Do You Like Me?:
For god’s sake, Lily, just say it. Say you like Cane and you spend every waking moment daydreaming and writing Cane’s name all over your class notes. That goes for you too, Cane, spit it out. Soon. It was such a predictable tool to have Heather always show up when Lily was about to ask Cane how he felt. I wonder how long the writers plan on using that cheap ploy? The next time Cane and Lily kiss I’m going have Heather appear, much like the Cheshire cat, grinning, teeth first, before the rest of her body materializes. That’s sure to scare the bejesus out of them.
Silky Smooth:
Victoria’s hair is remarkable and I doubt it’s a result of the silk pillows alone as the writers would have us believe. Somewhere in that hospital there is a team of hairstylists ready to wash and groom Ms. Newmans’ lustrous locks, which is good since someone always seem to be rubbing their grubby hands through it.
Fresh Dove:
The minute I heard Jill mention the Fresh Face of Jabot marketing gimmick I knew I had heard it before. Then it hit me: Doesn’t Dove® soap have a similar campaign going on (www.campaignforrealbeauty.com). They do? Oh. So much for originality. I find it really insulting that they had Amber dress up to be a redheaded tart and no one recognized her except for Daniel. It’s like when Christine dressed up in that awful black wig all over again. Didn’t they give her a fake mole too?
Coming Back For Seconds:
Man, I gotta get me some of what Gina’s cooking. She’s got that entire town wrapped around her little cloth napkin. No one seems to tire of eating there. Ever. They go for breakfast, breakfast meetings, lunch, lunch meetings, dinner, dinner meetings, drinks, drink meetings. My god, WHAT is on that menu? I had to laugh when Gloria told Jeffery to surprise her and he brought her to the AC for dinner. Considering that the guy lives there I found it strange that he was “craving” Gina’s lasagna. Doesn’t he eat it, or some other pasta dish everyday when he orders room service? As for Jack and Sharon? Those two need an intervention. I miss the days when we had the Lodge, Yves and the Colonade room to choose from. Looks like the GCAC gobbled up all the competition. There’s only room for one mega restaurant in this town it seems. One restaurant and one coffee shop that is.
