Why is that we’ve seen neither hide nor hair of the late John Abbott since the Gloria and Jeffrey infestation at the Abbott mansion? I bet if Gloria finally consented to Jeff’s demands to consummate the marriage he’ll pop in for a haunting. It’s a good thing John can’t have heart attacks in the afterlife because I’m sure that’s what seeing Jeffrey on top of Gloria will do to him. It’s either that or the jungle his widow is creating by adding animal print to every surface of the house.
I haven’t heard Jack mention Mrs. Martinez in a while, did she quit? If she still works for them she’s going to be real pissed to see those broken dishes on the dining room floor when she gets back after the holiday. I think a raise is in order now that she has two more slobs to clean up after.
While much has been made of the fact that he needs to get away from the Newman estate and out from under the shadow of his father-in-law, J.T. is actually doing Victoria a favor by leaving; I would hate to wake up from a 3-month long coma to find that the best accommodations my billionaire father could scrape together for me was a small, shitty room that looks like it hasn’t been renovated, or dusted, since 1935. I just don’t get it, perhaps I never will, but I have to ask: What makes living on the Newman ranch so amazing that family members never want to leave, no matter what their living conditions are? Take Nick and Phyllis, for example. I just discovered, as many of you have, that Phyllis is still in possession of that great apartment she had been living in when she divorced from Jack. So, let me see if I get this right. Phyllis, a savvy, smart and ambitious woman who cut her teeth working as a successful webmaster in the Big Apple, prefers to slum and raise her daughter in a tacky shack next to the barn animals on the Newman Ranch while renting her vacant apartment to the likes of social pariah, Amber Moore? C’mon!!
J.T. becoming the head of security at Newman don’t amount to a hill o’ beans in my book. I’ll tell you one thing: the guy has the chips stacked against him, what with cameras with blind spots and murders taking place right under the noses of Newman personnel with nary a twitter. Didn’t I hear him tell Paul at the wedding that his job at Newman was supposed to start the day after and that was why he and Victoria had no time for a honeymoon? Yet the next day he was putting down the mattress in the baby’s crib at the loft looking real pleased with himself. Looks like security is going to be more of the same at Newman.
Jill sure was spot on when she commented to David that it sounds like his life revolves around Nikki. Damn skippy. It’s a good thing I know the darker side of the Chowman’s desperate ambitions; it would be a hard pill to swallow if David were bending over to satisfy Nikki’s every whim and desire without once putting his foot down. You could just see him biting back the rage when Nikki said it was still too soon to move from the ranch, ditto, for her announcement that getting married before Victoria had time to process her divorce from Victor was a bad idea. Victoria was up and walking mere hours after waking up from a coma. Clearly she’s a tough cookie—I don’t think she’ll have a problem bouncing back from the latest divorce of her parents.
Please, Hope, don’t take too long to die. Your modest farm and simple ways depress me. I’m poor too and have come to this world looking for a little backstabbing, legal wrangling, champagne wishes and caviar dreams. Not farm life, apple pie made from scratch and a fridge filled with the homemade cookin’ of kindly church folk. It just ain’t my thing, honey, nor is it Victor’s. I suspect that deep down Victor is disgusted with mortality, it’s a sign of weakness you know.
Speaking of weakness, it’s just a little too convenient that Victor Jr. rose himself up from the dust bowl that is Hope’s farm and got a scholarship to Harvard Business School and ended up getting a job on Wall Street. Don’t we all know where this is going? Lil’ Vic will return to GC, nudge Neil off of his precarious perch on the right armrest of Victor’s throne, become CEO, CFO and COO of Newman and generally be the son Victor had but then threw away (Nick, are you listening?). He’ll lock horns with Nick again and again over their opposite worlds: son leaves home with nothing but the clothes on his back and makes it big despite the odds versus son born into wealth and privilege who had everything handed to him on a silver platter. Oh, let me just say for the record that I totally agree with Lil’ Vic that Big Vic could have shown a bit more interest over the years even though Hope told him to stay away. That’s why god invented Google, man. If Lil’ Vic could look his dad up why couldn’t Victor do the same for his son? Even if the Black Knight is computer illiterate he could’ve hired Paul to keep tabs on how the boy was living his life. Sheesh! Perhaps then he wouldn’t have lost track of him in the jungle? Thought I’d forgotten about that didn’t you, writers?
I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes I need a calculator to help me compute the most basic of arithmetic problems but I think even Bill Gates—who has a reputed IQ of 170—would be hard pressed to figure out how a college student, living off the meager earnings of a part-time salary at a clothing boutique, can afford a luxury suite at the 5-star Genoa City Athletic Club on the most romantic night of the year. I know Lily’s a high roller now that she’s a Fresh Face and all but she’s not the winner… yet.
At first, the thought of Cane and Lily together repulsed me; he was so boring and Lily looked so very hungry. Who knew the combination spelt hot, fiery passion on-screen? I never saw this one coming but suddenly Cane is sexy to me. Even when he was trying to speak French, I somehow managed not to cringe. Damn, I wish it was me unbuttoning his very sensible but oh-so-sexy blue striped shirt.
Poor Devon, never the boyfriend, always the brother. Devon needs some action—badly. What about that chick from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air? I know she could never be a suitable stand-in for his true love, what with being 3-times Lily’s size and all, but it could work in the meantime. I bet she’s probably wondering why Devon hasn’t made a move on her yet. She probably thinks he’s gay. Devon’s not gay, Roxanne, just hung up on his SISTER. Have you tried setting the mood by listening to Karen singing that song about “lips on lips”? Every time she belts that tune the people in Genoa City go mad with desire, it is frickin’ amazing! Karen is the female Barry White. She should stop by the D.A.’s office sometime and sing it for Heather, that chick is wound way too tight.
