Poor little rich boy Noah. Every day, a new scandal breaks like egg yolk over his head. “How would you like your drama this morning, sweetie?†Sharon would ask, “Scrambled, fried, or how about, your mother’s easy?â€Â He’s gotten much more bratty lately and I can’t say that I blame him, what with being up to his ears in madness and all. One minute Noah could be in his room talking to Cassie’s ghost about his wish to join a traveling circus and the next minute he’s summoned downstairs to be the maid of honor/best man in his mother’s wedding to a guy old enough to be his grandfather. A man who, at one time, was married to his grandma Nikki and a stepfather to his own dad. “Where did you have to live when Jack was your stepfather?†he asked Nick. It’s all so laughable (and kind of incestuous). For years we’ve been criticizing TPTB about why the kids in Genoa City always get sent off to boarding school and SORASED when they return. Now I know why. It’s to save them the trauma of growing up with their parents.  By the time Nate, Abby, Kyle, Little Ricky and all the forgotten children return from the Other Side, Noah will be eating human brains with a side order of fava beans. I’m telling ya, the kid needs more therapy than he has life span.
Honestly, if you’re broke and can barely afford to make ends meet, why oh why would you go to an exclusive country club to eat dinner? It should have been Colleen handing that credit card back to Amber, I just know she would have no trouble at all cutting it up.  If I were her waitress I would have given her a house salad garnished with the credit card diced into bacon sized bits. I enjoy doing things with a little flair. I was just about to fast forward through the rest of the scene when, at long freakin’ last, the reason for Cane’s stupidity was explained. He’s up to something, but what? I guess it shouldn’t matter as long as Amber gets hers. That’s what I really look forward to, you know. Miss Albino 2007 won’t see it coming and I pray (Latham, are you listening?) that it’ll be worth the brain cells I’ve lost watching this story line unfold.
Hip hip, hooray for the underdog, Neil Winters!! He finally stood up to the Newmans and said “hell naw†to taking one for the team. The very same team, by the way, that turns around and kicks him in the gut whenever the mood strikes them. It appears that Dru’s “death†fortified his rubbery backbone—at least something good came out of losing one of daytime’s most vivacious actresses. Can’t wait to see what’s next for the former brownnoser. Hope he takes Granville Global and breaks Bradski’s kneecaps with it.
Damn, Nikki sure cranked her bitch dial up to 11 this week, didn’t she? All her political wheeling and dealing were reminiscent of the days that she knowingly slept with Cole (her daughter’s boyfriend) without a feeling of remorse. What shocks me is that Victoria is actually surprised by this treachery. Nikki’s motivation seems a bit ill-conceived, though, because this extortion fiasco has the potential to affect her campaign as well. It’s her son that just got married to a would-be felon. It’s her son-in-law (a man she almost once married herself) that slept with her former daughter-in-law. Each day, Nikki steps over all the bodies of her past on her way to and from the office and still she thinks that she has a chance of winning the election? Unfathomable. Today’s politicians are no paragons of virtue but I try to picture presidential hopeful Hilary Clinton being a former stripper and running for office and I just don’t see it. Remember the huge deal they made over Barack Obama’s smoking cigarettes? I’d like to see what they would do if his last name was Newman.
I could be wrong about this but, don’t political candidates that hire consultants have them sign a no-compete-clause or something? David switched teams so effortlessly and started dishing the dirt on his former boss before the boot heel print on his ass had a chance to dry. Ah the wacky world that is Genoa City, you never know what to expect in this town.
Such a dilemma, Phyllis freaked when she was asked what should people throw at her and Nick as they exit the church? Hhhmm, how about little nuggets of common sense? Or perhaps slices of reality that their marriage has a lot of hurdles to overcome? On some level, I think Nick is enjoying his wife’s legal troubles a little too much. He didn’t lift a finger to help her while the handcuffs were being slapped on. If I didn’t suspect that Nick and Phyllis’ relationship was solely based on sex before they got married, I definitely do now. That Nick can turn any perverted situation into a sexual fantasy; from video game erotica to prison house pornography, this guy’s got a trick for every trade. And since Nicholas is the horniest man in Genoa City (and perhaps the entire state of Wisconsin), if there was ever a woman who could satisfy him Phyllis would be the one.
There’s nothing like a life threatening medical snafu to bring a louse and his wife closer and of all the people to take Victoria to the hospital, I’m glad that Brad’s mistress was available. Hopefully this experience will deepen their revolting bond. I dare say, I envision a nail biting sweeps episode in the works in which an emergency delivery will be performed in the stables when Victoria takes a tumble off her horse and Sharon has to deliver her child breach from under Victoria’s gangrene toenail. Victoria will pant and breathe heavily and scream while Sharon performs a crude incision around the nail bed. “I don’t know if I can do this,â€Â she’ll yell over the 120 mph winds gusting outside the shed. “You have to save my baby,†Victoria will shout back. Just then, much to everyone’s surprise, Zapato will emerge and save the day, once again proving Victor’s theory that dogs are far more useful in life than wives are.
Tell me, after Jana tried to burn him alive did Kevin move into Lauren and Michael’s already crowded apartment? I ask only because the guy’s always there, being the third wheel in everyone’s relationship. Whatever happened to him taking Colleen out on a date? I seemed to have missed that episode.
