LOS ANGELES—Imploring the lovesick man she has romantic feelings for to stop pining away for his ex-wife and consider a future with her instead sources confirmed that Aussie transplant Ivy Forrester took things to a very awkward place Monday when she wore the wedding outfit of her friend’s ex-wife hoping to convince him that there are other women available for relationships besides the woman he was once married to. “Steffy is not the only woman in the world. I can give you everything you need and much, much more.” Forrester reportedly said, illuminated by only a single overhead light in the darkened studio thus adding to the creepy vibe already in the air.
“I wanted to show you that this is just a dress and it has no real significance,” said Forrester clearly misguided in her belief that such a sentimental garment only serves to prolong and remind one of feelings of attachment rather than get rid of them. For his part, sources claim, Liam Spencer could only stutter and regard Forrester with confusion. “She’s still inside me Ivy, that doesn’t just go away,” said the man hoping that by comparing his unrequited love to a viral infection he could properly illustrate how utterly incurable his condition had become.
“End the humiliation: stop pining after your brother’s wife.”
-Ivy Forrester
At press time Forrester confirmed her intent to keep obsessing over her emotionally unavailable friend. “Liam isn’t the only one willing to humiliate himself over and over again— two can play at that game.”
“Comparing his unrequited love to a viral infection” ???