Y&R Recap: When Gal Fridays Attack

Is it unkind for me to say that Mariah got what she deserved by striking a deal with Hilary?   I don’t give a shit. We all know it’s true. Make a deal with the devil then be prepared to roast over an open flame. Satan likes his meat cooked while still alive and yet despite having first hand knowledge of this Mariah thought she could appeal to her boss’s sense of decency. If only Hilary had some.

What I love about GC Buzz is that its hiring policy appears to stipulate ‘Millennials need only apply’.  Have you heard about these generational miscreants? Ask your uncle Google to clue you in. Often stereotyped as ‘lazy, needy, entitled’ denizens these individuals are what’s wrong with America—depending on who you ask. As far as I can tell Devon seems to go against that grain as he works very hard to squander his grandmother’s inheritance on ill-advised business ventures.

My fave GZ Buzz staffer is the guy with the crazy beard. Have you seen him?! WTF. Lol!!

For a guy who claims to know Chloe better than anyone Kevin really dropped the ball when he decided to take it upon himself to pack up her things without asking her. Let me tell you why ANY woman would be annoyed by this and not just one who probably killed her best friend’s husband and is hiding the evidence in a shoe box labeled ‘party phoes’’ she doesn’t want anyone to find.

First off, it looks like Kevin just yanked Chloe’s clothes off the hangers and out of drawers and just dumped everything in cardboard boxes. ZERO organization, little to no consideration, no folding, no garment racks, not even a goddamn garment bag to protect pieces she probably cares a lot about. Who does that?! An idiot man that’s who. Second, I’m also assigning some blame to Chelsea as I am working under the assumption that she gave Kevin the keys and the okay to rummage through his girlfriend’s closet and pack her shit like he was salvaging used items from a salvation army dumpster. That must have been Chelsea’s way of getting revenge on Chloe for allowing Sharon to see baby Crully. And if i’m correct, that’s a really low blow. But, nothing is lower than burning a man alive so Chloe is still winning in that department.

I haven’t seen a man this devoted to his career as a glorified yes-man since Neil Winters. While there’s something to be said about going above and beyond for your employer I think we’re all in agreement that Cane is clambering down the side of Crazy F*cking Mountain at this point. Which makes you wonder what all this rush is about? We all saw Jill and Billy goat urge him to take all the time he needed to convalesce that knee and yet, he’s so pressed to get back to working around a small plastic table with two other people in a cramped lab office.

Obviously it’s not Brash ’n’ Sassy Cane is worried about but rather being stuck at home with that screaming banshee he has the misfortune of calling a wife. What we’re witnessing here is a man in full panic mode, one who will happily risk becoming an invalid just to avoid spending more time than necessary with the woman he married.

Have you heard the news? Victoria is swearing off men. We can all thank Travis for this debacle, as it turns out he was just another lying, cheating two-faced bastard who inexplicably decided to wear the world’s ugliest winter jacket to win back his girlfriend. If I were Victoria I would have told him to walk away too. Apparently Victoria’s god awful fashion sense rubbed off on Travis while they were together. Pity, I wanted so much for them to work but, I guess it wasn’t in the cards. Victoria loves Billy goats. Try and remember that each time she tells someone she just wants to focus on her kids and her job. It’s all bullshit. If she wants a man who won’t cheat on her then she needs to move. Genoa City is not conducive to happy relationships devoid of infidelity.

Am I the only one who wondered why Mrs. Martinez threw up her hands twice during the traditional Abbott family breakfast? Did she mistake the inquiry of sticky buns for stick em’ up? Hahah. Seriously though, it was really great to see her home for the holidays. You too Traci, you lovable little peacemaker you. I hope you know that your efforts to build a bridge for Jack and his baby goat brother, though admirable, is truly a fool’s errand. There’s too much hatred and bad blood under that bridge not water. Don’t waste your time, sweetheart.

Looks like Christmas is cancelled at Fenmore’s this year and I lay the blame squarely on Cane’s shoulders. If he had just dampened his career aspirations a little and remained by  Lauren’s side he could’ve given her that super important market research report: Amazon Is Killing Department Stores.  Apparel sales are plummeting, and if sales projections are correct no amount of praying, begging and pleading—nor exclusive contracts with Chelsea’s bohemian rhapsody rags clothing line will save her bacon now. Unfurl your praying emoji hands, my dear Lauren and get ready to sail into uncharted waters.

Remember when Lauren opened a boutique in the lobby of Jabot? She might want to revisit that, only this time she can work as a sales clerk schilling Jabot perfume and makeup.