Y&R Recap: You Knead Me

There is nothing more thrilling to me right now than the electric pairing of Jack and Gloria’s clandestine affair. Pure genius on Sally Sussman’s part to throw this unlikely twosome together. I never saw it coming, and yet…like a fifth helping of a double chocolate fudge brownie, it’s the guilty pleasure I can’t seem to stop scarfing down. I guess it IS true about the line between love and hate being thin. The right place, time and correct amount of booze was all it took for Jack to step over to the GLOside. Out of all the reactions to this I am particularly interested to hear what Phyllis will say. Of course she’ll blame herself for setting this all motion by sleeping with Billy. Soon after Ashley will chime in that Phyllis was the worst thing that ever happened to the Abbott family. This will all be true of course, but who cares? It’s delicious fun!

You know what I tend to realize about assholes? They can be a little overzealous when it comes to righting a wrong. This leads me to believe that whenever Billy Goat goes a little too hard supporting those who, let’s face it, at some point or other he’s either cheated on or stabbed in the back himself—he’s coming from a place of deep-seated self-loathing.

Take for example his aggressive position on Cane. ’Sibling’ rivalry aside why all the shade? Whether he’ll admit to it or not Cane did a fine job of holding Brash & Sassy down whenever he and Victoria succumbed to the tides of their own personal life drama. And what is Cane’s reward? Oh, being marginalized and forced to toil away in a hostile work environment. No wonder Cane was eager to take his shirt off on national tv, he needs to loosen up and breath a little.

And yes, Colin should be flogged for leaving Jill cash destitute, but stripped of all his earthly possessions after an expedited eviction? Damn! I guess Billy wanted him to feel what it was like to have nothing. Misery loves company.

Leave it to Nicole Newman to throw Sharon a lifeline while strangling her self-esteem with it at the same time. “So I was thinking of starting a shelter for broken and insecure women who have nothing and wondered if you would consider being the brand ambassador? You know, since being broken and insecure is kind like your thing in life.” Burn!  Nevertheless this vote of self confidence gave Sharon all the balls she needed to quit on Chelsea with zero notice. I love how folks in this town just up and move from job to job on a whim, sort of like how they hop from bed to bed too.

Oh, this is weird. Where was all purpose doctor Rayburn when Jill was brought in for her heart attack? I thought the only time he left God Have Mercy Hospital was to get coffee from Crimson Lights so he could bump into Abby and have really painfully awkward conversation? Humph! In any event it was nice of Dr. Lang to cover for him and give us all a much needed lesson on woman heart health. Did you know that over 325,000 women in the U.S. suffer a heart attack each year? So if you’re a woman and have a heart you might want to learn about the signs of heart failure and what to do to prevent heart disease. The life you save may be your own.

I just knew that too-rich-for-his-own-good hopeless romantic Devon would eventually cave into Hilary’s reverse psychology tactics. Damn that boy is putty in Hilary’s hands. Guess the divorce proceedings will be halted and Lily will die of frustration when she learns the reason her brother decided to reconcile with his bitchy, scheming double-crossing sanctimonious wife was because life is lousy without her. Huh. He should put that on a shirt that reads, “I’m with Lousy But I Love Her.”