LOS ANGELES—After his mother was arrested for allegedly abducting his half-brother, complete pansy and enabling son Wyatt Spencer announced to skeptical family members Wednesday that what his mother truly needed was compassion, not jail time. “She’s already paid a very steep price: she lost her job, credibility and the only guy I’ve ever seen her have feelings for,” claimed Spencer whose spine is fused together with his mommy’s apron strings.
Spencer’s mother, Quinn Fuller, a woman whose rap sheet of misdeeds reads like a season of Criminal Minds episodes, is currently awaiting formal charges to be brought against her for the heinous but surprisingly common acts of kidnapping, brainwashing and relationship meddling, according to police sources.
Admitting that though the catalyst for her dubious transformation may be viewed by some as unorthodox or perhaps even grotesque, Spencer seem to take solace in the fact that at least she finally knew what it was like to share love with a man even if that man was his poor unsuspecting brother suffering from amnesia.
Appearing to wonder for a brief moment if in fact the son who stood before him was indeed genuine fruit of his loins, Spencer’s father Bill quickly brushed the thought aside and disagreed vehemently. “She’s crazy and dangerous! Quinn has to pay for her crimes,” said the senior Spencer who appeared to cringe inwardly at the memory of having slept with the demented woman at least once in his lifetime.
