Genoa City, W.I.— Would-be groom, Luca Santori, was in the midst of churning the stomachs of his fiancée’s family members on Friday when witnesses claim a man by the name of Travis Crawford interrupted his wedding rehearsal thank you speech to accuse him of corporate subterfuge against Newman Enterprises.
“This man you’re about to marry is a bottom feeding, backstabbing cockroach,” said Crawford addressing Summer Newman, Santori’s doltish fiancée, before adding that just three days prior Santori had butted into his new life at sea by contacting him via video chat to falsely claim that Crawford was the primary suspect wanted in relation to a series of attacks on Newman Enterprise’s oil facilities.
According to reports it was the declaration Newman’s nauseated loved ones were praying for, especially her mother and father who vehemently protested the marriage and were united in the belief that Santori was lying through his perfectly white teeth.
Having previously wanting to scream and thrash around on the floor in frustration since the night’s festivities began, Phyllis Abbott urged Newman to listen to Crawford’s side of the tale, which unfortunately failed to offer enough compelling evidence to exonerate him of suspicion while casting serious doubt onto her betrothed.
At press time, Newman had abruptly left the event with Santori in tow to slowly grow suspicious of his motives and eventually choke back tears of painful realization that her fiancé is in fact a member of one of the most annoying and adaptable pests on Earth.
