What is it about the eggs that burst from Lauren’s ovary each month with the anticipation of being fertilized that seem to drive Sheila Carter positively batty? It’s as though Sheila is the Tony Montana of Lauren’s uterus; wreaking havoc and carnage in dogged pursuit of the American Dream—Lauren’s eggs. Instead of a cocaine empire, Sheila is amassing a fortune rich with Lauren’s stolen offspring. First she kidnaps Scotty, Lauren’s first son, and more than twenty years later she does it again with her second child, Fenmore. I picture Sheila standing at the top of the staircase of a huge mansion—M16 in one hand and baby in the other—observing the police swarm the foyer and shouting shrilly, “Say hello to my little son,” before opening fire on the whole lot. Take that, haters!
Sheila Carter on the hunt for Laurent’s eggs
Before the barn caved in on her I wonder if Sheila managed to insert a GPS device into Lauren’s womb that would tell her exactly when Lauren would conceive? Sheila is a nurse after all and anything in soap land is possible. But, perhaps I’m over thinking things here. It could be as simple as the fact that after more than two decades, Sheila is certainly by now an expert on all things Lauren. Any deranged stalker worth her salt would be so in tune with her prey by now that it wouldn’t be far-fetched to imagine Sheila’s spidey sense tingling in the South American jungle at the precise moment a fertilized egg successfully implanted itself into the lining of Lauren’s, uterus thus enabling Sheila to set in motion a serious of events to bring to life this ridiculous story line.
Sheila after plastic surgery
Ahh, I love the smell of crazy in the morning, and, apparently so does Paul Williams. The repugnant odor of Sheila’s unwashed and now festering body must be burning the nose hair of anyone who comes within ten feet of the warehouse where she’s being held captive. Gawd, but Sheila must stink to high heaven. Perhaps it’s out of the camera’s line of sight but when Sheila designed the nursery from hell did she have the foresight to include restroom facilities? Probably not since Michael had to fetch a chamber pot for her to pee in. Earlier in the week when Paul asked if she was cold and offered a blanket I instinctively knew he was only trying to muffle the stench rather than act out of kindness. His loyalty to Lauren truly astounds me.
Just so we’re all clear here, folks, Cane is from Australia. How do I know this you ask? All the benchmark Australian clichés are present: hiked the outback in a single bound, check; scuba dived in the Great Barrier Reef, check. You know what’s coming next, right? Cane will eventually dump Amber for Colleen and head to New York to navigate the murky tunnels of the subway system, all while looking hilariously out of place wearing a hat with shark’s teeth around the brim and a half open shirt tucked into very tight khaki shorts. Crikey! Throw another shrimp on the barbie!
So, this week I learned that not only was Carmen a public-relations-executive-in-heat, but a saint as well. Oh snap! Carmen supported her family?! Is this by chance the same family that couldn’t bother to fly in from Texas to ID her dead body? Perfectly understandable I suppose. They were probably so distraught that the funds from her salary suddenly dried up that they couldn’t afford the costly plane ticket. Carmen volunteered off hours to help kids?! Which off hours might these have been? Could they possibly be the ones she spent whoring it up in the break room, or her Newman Tower suite, or the Athletic Club, or Neil’s apartment or… well, you get the idea.
Quite frankly, I’m more than a little surprised it took this long for Carmen’s “ghost” to start haunting Dru, and, since I don’t recall Carmen having a funeral, her body was probably shipped back to the Newman maintenance department after the D.A. was done with the autopsy. Everyone knows that a ghost who is not at peace with his/her death is bound to come back for unfinished business—we’ve all seen Ghost Whisperer. But isn’t it sad that after all the brouhaha she ended up at the very place where no one wanted her to be? See children, this is what happens when you make your life all about your work.
Once again, Genoa City’s elite prove their obsession with scandal and intrigue by showing up at the god-awful Indigo for a night of “Dru-tertainment”. Who cares about Aaron Neville when on any given night, when the club is open, one can sit at a table and watch alleged murderess and co-Indigo proprietor, Dru Winters, fall apart at the seams over their cocktails.
It’s so easy to provoke Dru isn’t it? The woman has less than zero self-control. I can’t wait to see what Carmen’s “ghost” has in store for her. One thing’s for sure, Carmen won’t have to try very hard. Just last week Dru had the misfortune of parking her car in the security camera’s blind spot, thus allowing the paranormal free reign to slash her car tires. And yet on Monday she parked her car in the same exact spot before going into the elevator. Sharon must be rubbing off on her.
At first glance, the plot of the Grugeon Reliquary is every bit as scintillating as watching, say, food particles harden on my cookware, so you can imagine my delight when TPTB decided to throw in the aging but always ageless Victor Newman into the mix. Why didn’t Brad think of this eons ago? Doesn’t he know that the Black Knight can fix anything? DOESN’T HE KNOW WHO HE’S DEALING WITH FOR CHRISSAKES? Praise the gods; the bloodthirsty Victor didn’t have to crack the skulls of the Grugeon owner’s goons during this latest mission. We’ve all seen him when he’s angry and it ain’t pretty.
I’m disappointed though that Victor didn’t ask to see the Grugeon more closely before agreeing to exchange his two pieces as collateral. From what I saw it didn’t look like much, but at least we got out of Genoa City for while. I love it when TPTB pull out all the stops for location shoots. You can tell they spared no expense for that Den of Antiquities set.
About the author : Keisha Chantal
Hi, my name is Keisha. I am the creator of Soap Opera Nation where I write, edit and produce hilarious content based on serialized storytelling. Follow on socials for more petty.
Genoa City, W.I.— Would-be groom, Luca Santori, was in the midst of churning the stomachs of his fiancée’s family members on Friday when witnesses claim a man by the name of Travis Crawford interrupted his wedding rehearsal thank you speech to accuse him of corporate subterfuge against Newman Enterprises.
“This man you’re about to marry is a bottom feeding, backstabbing cockroach,” said Crawford addressing Summer Newman, Santori’s doltish fiancée, before adding that just three days prior Santori had butted into his new life at sea by contacting him via video chat to falsely claim that Crawford was the primary suspect wanted in relation to a series of attacks on Newman Enterprise’s oil facilities.
Travis Crawford delivers news that probably won’t hold up in a court of law
According to reports it was the declaration Newman’s nauseated loved ones were praying for, especially her mother and father who vehemently protested the marriage and were united in the belief that Santori was lying through his perfectly white teeth.
Having previously wanting to scream and thrash around on the floor in frustration since the night’s festivities began, Phyllis Abbott urged Newman to listen to Crawford’s side of the tale, which unfortunately failed to offer enough compelling evidence to exonerate him of suspicion while casting serious doubt onto her betrothed.
At press time, Newman had abruptly left the event with Santori in tow to slowly grow suspicious of his motives and eventually choke back tears of painful realization that her fiancé is in fact a member of one of the most annoying and adaptable pests on Earth.
Genoa City, W.I.— Would-be groom, Luca Santori, was in the midst of churning the stomachs of his fiancée’s family members on Friday when witnesses claim a man by the name of Travis Crawford interrupted his wedding rehearsal thank you speech to accuse him of corporate subterfuge against Newman Enterprises.
“This man you’re about to marry is a bottom feeding, backstabbing cockroach,” said Crawford addressing Summer Newman, Santori’s doltish fiancée, before adding that just three days prior Santori had butted into his new life at sea by contacting him via video chat to falsely claim that Crawford was the primary suspect wanted in relation to a series of attacks on Newman Enterprise’s oil facilities.
Travis Crawford delivers news that probably won’t hold up in a court of law
According to reports it was the declaration Newman’s nauseated loved ones were praying for, especially her mother and father who vehemently protested the marriage and were united in the belief that Santori was lying through his perfectly white teeth.
Having previously wanting to scream and thrash around on the floor in frustration since the night’s festivities began, Phyllis Abbott urged Newman to listen to Crawford’s side of the tale, which unfortunately failed to offer enough compelling evidence to exonerate him of suspicion while casting serious doubt onto her betrothed.
At press time, Newman had abruptly left the event with Santori in tow to slowly grow suspicious of his motives and eventually choke back tears of painful realization that her fiancé is in fact a member of one of the most annoying and adaptable pests on Earth.
Latest videos
MONACO—Admitting he was at a total loss to comprehend or explain the lunatic acts of his mother, Wyatt Spencer knelt before his wife in their luxurious hotel room Monday afternoon and pledged that upon their return to Los Angeles he would make sure that his mother would keep her distance from her or anyone with the last name Forrester. “I can’t live without you. You’re the only thing that matters to me,” said the former mama’s boy, justifiably nervous that his wife’s bloodshot eyes meant she had reached her breaking point in their marriage. According to reports Steffy Spencer had forbid her mother-in-law Quinn Fuller from going near anyone in her family. It appears Fuller violated the terms of that decree by have a romantic relationship with Eric Forrester, Spencer’s grandfather.
Earlier that morning witnesses standing outside the Monte-Carlo hotel confirmed to reporters that Spencer saw a woman and her grandfather locked in a passionate embrace. After Forrester departed in a waiting car Spencer approached the woman (whose back was turned and thus not immediately identifiable). Fearing discovery Fuller took off running when she recognized her daughter-in-law’s voice. What came next was a frantic foot chase through the scenic town of Monte Carlo.
“There was a woman chasing another woman in a big hat,” said an onlooker who claims to have witnessed Spence, push her mother-in-law violently to the ground before realizing her true identity.
The two women were then seen in a public park engaged in a screaming match where sources allege an enraged Spencer lost all control when she learned that Fuller had been having sex with her grandfather.
Steffy Spencer trying not to vomit at the thought of her grandfather and Quinn Fuller having sex.
Disgusted by what she had just uncovered Spencer retreated to her hotel room to look out from the balcony with deep sadness. It was there, sources believe, that upon returning Spencer’s husband could immediately feel the hammering vibration of the final nail his mother had just banged into his already shaky relationship. “If this is what you need then this is what you’ll get. Whatever it takes.” said Mr. Spencer before quickly imploring with his wife not to let his brainsick mother interrupt their routine of taking hundreds of pictures and posting them to her many social media accounts.
MONACO—Admitting he was at a total loss to comprehend or explain the lunatic acts of his mother, Wyatt Spencer knelt before his wife in their luxurious hotel room Monday afternoon and pledged that upon their return to Los Angeles he would make sure that his mother would keep her distance from her or anyone with the last name Forrester. “I can’t live without you. You’re the only thing that matters to me,” said the former mama’s boy, justifiably nervous that his wife’s bloodshot eyes meant she had reached her breaking point in their marriage. According to reports Steffy Spencer had forbid her mother-in-law Quinn Fuller from going near anyone in her family. It appears Fuller violated the terms of that decree by have a romantic relationship with Eric Forrester, Spencer’s grandfather.
Earlier that morning witnesses standing outside the Monte-Carlo hotel confirmed to reporters that Spencer saw a woman and her grandfather locked in a passionate embrace. After Forrester departed in a waiting car Spencer approached the woman (whose back was turned and thus not immediately identifiable). Fearing discovery Fuller took off running when she recognized her daughter-in-law’s voice. What came next was a frantic foot chase through the scenic town of Monte Carlo.
“There was a woman chasing another woman in a big hat,” said an onlooker who claims to have witnessed Spence, push her mother-in-law violently to the ground before realizing her true identity.
The two women were then seen in a public park engaged in a screaming match where sources allege an enraged Spencer lost all control when she learned that Fuller had been having sex with her grandfather.
Steffy Spencer trying not to vomit at the thought of her grandfather and Quinn Fuller having sex.
Disgusted by what she had just uncovered Spencer retreated to her hotel room to look out from the balcony with deep sadness. It was there, sources believe, that upon returning Spencer’s husband could immediately feel the hammering vibration of the final nail his mother had just banged into his already shaky relationship. “If this is what you need then this is what you’ll get. Whatever it takes.” said Mr. Spencer before quickly imploring with his wife not to let his brainsick mother interrupt their routine of taking hundreds of pictures and posting them to her many social media accounts.
MONACO—Admitting he was at a total loss to comprehend or explain the lunatic acts of his mother, Wyatt Spencer knelt before his wife in their luxurious hotel room Monday afternoon and pledged that upon their return to Los Angeles he would make sure that his mother would keep her distance from her or anyone with the last name Forrester. “I can’t live without you. You’re the only thing that matters to me,” said the former mama’s boy, justifiably nervous that his wife’s bloodshot eyes meant she had reached her breaking point in their marriage. According to reports Steffy Spencer had forbid her mother-in-law Quinn Fuller from going near anyone in her family. It appears Fuller violated the terms of that decree by have a romantic relationship with Eric Forrester, Spencer’s grandfather.
Earlier that morning witnesses standing outside the Monte-Carlo hotel confirmed to reporters that Spencer saw a woman and her grandfather locked in a passionate embrace. After Forrester departed in a waiting car Spencer approached the woman (whose back was turned and thus not immediately identifiable). Fearing discovery Fuller took off running when she recognized her daughter-in-law’s voice. What came next was a frantic foot chase through the scenic town of Monte Carlo.
“There was a woman chasing another woman in a big hat,” said an onlooker who claims to have witnessed Spence, push her mother-in-law violently to the ground before realizing her true identity.
The two women were then seen in a public park engaged in a screaming match where sources allege an enraged Spencer lost all control when she learned that Fuller had been having sex with her grandfather.
Steffy Spencer trying not to vomit at the thought of her grandfather and Quinn Fuller having sex.
Disgusted by what she had just uncovered Spencer retreated to her hotel room to look out from the balcony with deep sadness. It was there, sources believe, that upon returning Spencer’s husband could immediately feel the hammering vibration of the final nail his mother had just banged into his already shaky relationship. “If this is what you need then this is what you’ll get. Whatever it takes.” said Mr. Spencer before quickly imploring with his wife not to let his brainsick mother interrupt their routine of taking hundreds of pictures and posting them to her many social media accounts.
Join our mailing list today
Insider offers & flash sales in your inbox every week.
Curabitur non nulla sit amet nisl tempus convallis quis ac lectus dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit sed porttitor lectus.